In thinking so much about the good times, and fantasies of what might have been, one’s thoughts about the relationship can become skewed, sometimes allowing fantasy to overtake reality. Mourning the good times is a completely normal part of grieving the end of a relationship, however, thinking only about the good times can actually make getting over the relationship harder.
I have found a key contributor to keeping them stuck is how they are thinking about the relationship, and how actively they fantasize about what they have lost. They can’t seem to let go, even if they want to. They can’t stop feeling the pain of being heartbroken after a break up. There is no better way through this process than to feel your feelings.Īnd yet, sometimes people come to my office feeling stuck. One has to mourn the good times, and allow the feelings of loss and pain to come. Some say there is nothing more painful than how it feels after a break up, and that healing takes time. How can we make the break up easiest on ourselves, while dealing as much as we need to?
#HEART HURTS WHEN IM AWAY FROM SOMEONE FULL#
Often we feel miserable, and heartbroken after a break up, full of worry and full of dread. And we’re back to square one, single, lonely, and longing. But now, for whatever reason, the relationship hasn’t worked out. We envisioned a future with this person, we trusted this person, we invested in this relationship, and there were really good times. We thought this relationship would last forever. – Lyrics to Neil Sedaka’s “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” (1962)
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